7 Steps for Handling Rude or Angry Customers

Having all been on both sides of the call, we know that contentious customer service interactions are a two-way street. Rude, disrespectful customers can certainly add unwarranted animosity to a call, but discourteous, ineffective agents often play a role in driving or amplifying that animosity.

From an objective, impartial standpoint, neither the agent nor the customer is "always right." Either can be wrong, and either can be to blame for an interaction going awry.

Unfortunately for those agents and organizations hoping to pass the buck to the customer, accountability for the customer experience is not a two-way street. Barring circumstances in which the organization is seeking to "fire" its customer, it carries the exclusive responsibility for creating satisfying experiences.

Because the customer is not equally obligated to create a satisfying experience for the agent, it does not matter whether he is inherently rude or angrier than is objectively appropriate for the situation. What matters is the collective ability of the agent and business to overcome experiential challenges and deliver the optimal outcome.

A "rude" customer is not an inherently lesser customer. He is simply a more burdensome one for the agents involved in the support process.

Here are some steps for handling that burden:

1) Remain focused on the objective

When interacting with a customer, the agent’s role is to provide the desired information, resolution or outcome. Agents able to remain fixated on that can avoid falling into the trap of a contentious call.

Agents who lose sight of that end goal are more likely to lose composure on the call. They forget that their obligation is to provide the customer with the value for which he is looking and thus allow the conversation to veer off track.

No matter the customer’s tone, an agent should never question whether the customer is deserving of proper support or whether his business is responsible for making the situation right. The answer to both questions is always "yes."

Right-minded agents see customer rudeness or hostility for what it is – a hurdle on the journey to achieving a resolution. They do not see it as a detour or exit strategy.

2) Accept accountability

During an interaction, the relevant question is not whether the customer, the business or an outside force was objectively responsible for the issue. What matters is that the business is accountable for rectifying the situation.

Successful agents recognize that accountability. They also accept accountability for managing another element of the customer experience: the customer’s emotional state.

Instead of seeing a customer’s anger as an inherent character flaw, customer-centric agents and businesses accept the role their experience played in driving that anger. They, similarly, hold themselves accountable for creating an experience that eliminates—or at least minimizes—the customer’s frustration.

A customer’s emotional state is not an accident. It is a barometer of the care the business is providing.

3) Ask Questions

Knowing there is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all customer experience, customer-centric businesses work to understand the unique manner in which an issue affected the customer and the unique way he expects the business to produce a resolution.

Communication is the key to developing that understanding. Instead of casting labels like "rude" and "angry" based on preconceived expectations, use deep questioning to establish an accurate context for the customer’s emotional state.

4) Feel What the Customer Feels

Agent empathy is an essential ingredient of a successful customer care interaction.

The best agents, however, know to go one step further: they turn the customer’s sentiment into their own sentiment.

The agent’s anger only emerges when the customer is not receiving the experience he desires. The agent’s happiness only emerges when the customer receives a satisfying outcome.

By creating such an alignment, the agent assures he will fall victim to neither his own emotions nor the impact of outside forces. He will not be offended by a rude customer; he will be offended that his business drove that customer to rudeness. He will not expect a disgruntled customer to accept the "standard" resolution; he will be disgruntled that his business attempted to present a standard resolution as customer centric.

5) Never Decide for the Customer

Tasked with demonstrating empathy, an agent that chastises a customer for his hostility is fundamentally failing to do his job. Successful agents take emotional cues from the customer. They know that while the customer might not always be right, he is definitely always right about how he feels.

Tasked with providing a satisfactory resolution, an agent that unilaterally defines a call’s end point is fundamentally failing to do his job. A customer centric agent never tells an unsatisfied customer that there is "nothing more that can be done" or "I’m going to have to end this call."

If an agent wants to bring an end to a customer’s hostility, he needs to give the customer a reason to be happy. If an agent wants to bring an end to a call, he needs to give the customer a reason to declare the matter resolved.

The job of the contact center agent is to act. The role of judgment rests exclusively with the customer.

6) Never Issue Ultimatums

Deciding for the customer is problematic. Forcing the customer into an uncomfortable decision is also problematic.

Under the mistaken notion that the customer is obligated to satisfy the business—rather than vice versa—some agents threaten to "disconnect if the customer does not calm down" or "end the call unless the customer adheres to professional language."

Beyond trivializing the emotion driving the customer’s behavior (and the role the business played in driving that emotion), such ultimatums also signal a lack of customer centricity. They show that the agent’s parameters for a quality interaction matter more than the customer’s parameters. They show that the customer’s demeanor affects the caliber of experience to which he is entitled.

No business should ever send such messages.

7) Fear the Customer

To confront a customer over his demeanor, let alone end a call because of that demeanor, is to suggest indifference. It is to suggest that the business does not sweat the prospect angering a customer with an unsuccessful customer experience.

That should never be the business’ mentality. Knowing that the customer can respond to a bad experience by leaving – or, worse, sharing his frustration via social media – the business should always fear upsetting its customers.

Driven by that fear, it should always fight to do right by those customers.